5 Dollars

My life as an at-home momma of 3 amazing kids...it's kind of like shoveling snow in a blizzard.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Think you're having a bad day at work?

Subject: I love my job
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The next time youhave a bad day at work...think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below isan E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst jobexperience contest. Needless to say, she won!

Hi Sue. Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feelingdown lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with youto make you realize it's not so bad after all.Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you witha few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at thebottom of the sea.I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of the year thewater is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have adiesel powered industrial water heater.This $20 000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. Itheats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diverthrough a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now thissounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with nocomplaints.What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take thehose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my wholesuit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started toitch.So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose outfrom my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what hadhappened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish andpumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back,the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt wasnot as fortunate.When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grindingthe jellyfish into the crack of my but. I informed the dive supervisorof my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were uncleardue to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughinghysterically.Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make threeagonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutesbefore I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brasshelmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughterrunning down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me torub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So the next time you're having a bad day at work, think about howmuch worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job"


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